Musings from the Wandering Chaplain

Veni Vidi Vici

2009-08-21T10:35:00.000-07:00

Wow... it's finally over (or is it just the beginning?) My time in Kuwait has come to an end. The unit threw me a very nice Farewell Party tonight. It was bittersweet. I've made so many friends here and can only hope I've been half as much of a blessing to them as they've been to me. I'm going to miss this.

On the other hand, I am so excited to see my family. April tells me the boys are bouncing off the walls in anticipation of seeing their dad. Even little Noah apparently knows something is up. I just hope he remembers me.

The weather here has made quite the change. Humidity has arrived. I recognized something was different when I returned from Afghanistan, but it wasn't as pronounced until today. We've had 110+ degree temperatures with 90%+ humidity. It's like walking in soup. Before it was just hot. Now it's ridiculously sticky.

I've had a roller coaster ride that I'll still be processing months from now. I've made good friends. Seen two theaters of war. Landed on gravel airstrips. Witnessed the spiritual hunger in our Soldiers. Grieved with a unit losing a buddy to suicide. Was able to intervene and keep another service member from taking their life.

I certainly havn't been perfect, but God in His grace is willing to use broken vessels. At the end of the day, it's all about Him. To God be the glory, great things He has done!

The Wandering Chaplain
2 Timothy 4:7

Afghanistan Part Trois

2009-08-13T03:11:00.000-07:00

My third and final trip to Afghanistan is almost over. I've heard from the beginning that travel can be iffy and it's not uncommon to get stranded. I guess I finally ran out of luck because I've been waiting 3 days (looks to be 5 days) before I can catch a return flight. Alas, just more time with my Afghan detachment!
In addition to the routine Chaplain site visit providing what the Army calls "Ministry of Presence", I was tasked while here to conduct the Phase III Suicide Prevention Training for our Afghan detachment. So far I've done 6 such briefings in 4 locations (Bagram, Jalalabad, Salerno and Kandahar). Possibility for one more in Kabul if flight arrangements can be worked out.

Had another divine appointment with one of my Soldiers returning from R&R with bad news. My heart really grieves for our men and women in uniform. It's not enough that they're under enough stress as it is just being in theater, but many are having to put out fires when they go home. (This is not ment to downplay the stress family back home is under during a deployment).

It does make me extremely grateful for all the support I've received from back home. From my family, college and church colleagues I've by and large received great support (with one notable exception...) When I get down, I just think of those three smiling faces (Stephen, Caleb and Noah) and imagine scooping up those little guys!

Whereas my last Afghan trip was marred by spiritual attacks, this one has been just the opposite. I left Kuwait having hit the emotional and spiritual "wall" and was just empty. My arrival in Bagram was not only refreshing physically but emotionally and spiritually as well. Maybe it was the change of scenery or the prayers offered by my boys, but there was a tangible difference in my spirit. It's still gonna take some time to recover from the "compassion fatigue" (believe it or not i do have a heart...), but I'm at a better place and have a better appreciation for family and friends.

One of the highlights of the trip was traveling with SPc Robinson. My chaplain assistant went back to the states back in June so I've been flying solo again since then. However I cant travel abroad without a security detail. I wasn't short of volunteers that's for sure. Seems everyone wanted to get out of Arifjan to travel with the chaplain! Well SPC Robinson won the lottery and accompanied me to both Iraq and Afghanistan. I received quite the education from traveling with him. He's broadened my vocabulary and has helped make me laugh. An avid singer, I accompanied him to "Poetry Night" in Bagram where the Soldiers, Sailors, Marines and Airmen expressed themselves through poetry, music, rap, etc. Quite the experience to say the least.

Another fond memory was in Kandahar where NATO has a much stronger presence. We arrived on a Saturday night and decided to ruck march to the transient tents. We passed he boardwalk where they were doing Karaoke. Of course SPC Robinson, aka "J Soul" wanted to perform (check him out on youtube "jsoul2008"). We dropped our gear off and returned. He wasnt able to get on the list but we listened to some of the singers. Whereas Bagram was no holds barred vulgarity, Kandahar was only Karaoke. The most hilarious part was a British Soldier "Mikey" singing "I believe I can fly." He actually sounded worse than me. He was so off key it was hilarious! There were others with some talent, but Mikey was the most memorable.

I've already been contacted about a stateside mobilization. "The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few."

The Wandering Chaplain

Iraq Part Deux

2009-08-13T02:56:00.000-07:00

The end is near (at least my deployment is)! The last week of July I finally made a return trip to Iraq. My June visit fell through so it had been a while since I saw these Soldiers and Coasties. These visits seem to result in divine appointments where the Chaplain just happened to be around when one of my guys needed it. Prior to a few counseling sessions, a Change of Responsibility Ceremony, and a Combat Stress / Battlemind briefing, I had the priviledge of visiting the hospital here with my new Command Sergeant Major. It was an honor visiting our wounded warriors, offering some words of encouragement and praying with them. The CSM and I were a good team with a good cop / bad cop approach (which is which is up for debate :-). The CSM would prescribe Guiness which always encouraged the troops (except for one who didnt drink). As this was my last trip to Iraq, the Commander of our Iraq battalion gave me a unit coin in appreciation for my services. Fortunately, no mortar or rocket attacks on this visit.
I'm starting to count the days to my reunion with April and the boys!

The Wandering Chapain

Dawg Days of Summer

2009-07-21T05:04:00.000-07:00

Boy am I missing my family! The Summer is in full swing now and the temperature is still steadily rising. As I'm attached to an active duty unit (595th Transportation Terminal Group), Summer has been the time when many of the Soldiers are leaving and their replacements are arriving. It's been great getting to know them and I wish them nothing but the best at their next duty station.

With the new batch coming in I'm enjoying the fruit of my labor over the past several months. The "coffee house" ministry is a big hit with the newcomers and has spread to other commands in the building. The newcomers are being told the Chaplain section has the "best coffee in the building" and the traffic continues to grow.

The Bible studies are also established and there's a faith commitment among many of the new officers. I have 7 different Bible studies/Communion services scheduled each week at various locations across southern Kuwait and 2 world religions workshops going on at present. The counseling opportunities have increased with Soldiers becoming more comfortable and feeling that I'm approachable. I'm once again flying solo as my Chaplain Assistant was only with me for a little over a month.

One of my quiet times during this deployment was a simple one from the "Our Daily Bread" devotional for June 21st (Father's Day). It was rather convicting and has been in the back of my mind ever since. Now that my tour is coming to an end, it's moving to the forefront of my mind. Essentially, the devotion pointed out that "If we died tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of days. But the family left behind would feel the loss for the rest of their lives. Why then do we invest so much in our work and so little in our children's lives?"

Ouch. Could someone get the dagger out of my heart?

I know I'll have to make some changes when I get back. I want to be a better daddy. My boys (and wife) deserve better! I just hope I have the discipline to make them more of a priority (and not just have it be lip service).

The Wandering Chaplain
Psalm 127:3

Coffee for the Troops

2009-07-04T01:32:00.000-07:00

My little coffee corner continues to grow and grow. Word is getting out and Soldiers are building in a stop by the Chaplain section to grab a cup of (g.i.) joe. This provides an opportunity for small talk about how things are going. Often the Soldier will share some of the stresses their dealing with back home or with the mission. Sometimes we'll pray or schedule a time for them to stop back by to talk. They'll pick up some religious literature and head on their way.
When I first started, a box of K-cups (coffee), regular and flavored, would last a week. I recently put out a box of Southern Pecan and it didn't last two days! The demand is quickly surpassing the supply.
SO.... if you'd like to support the ministry here, consider sending a box of K-Cups. You can purchase K-cups at some traditional stores and various websites, but not all of them can ship to an APO address (must use USPS instead of UPS/FedEx). Keurig (www.keurig.com) donated the coffee maker and the initial 200 K-cups. I've ordered from them since then so I know they can ship to Kuwait. If you'd like to send a box, please mail to the following:

CH (CPT) Paul Tolbert
595th Trans Term Grp
Chaplain Section
APO, AE 09366

Any kind is fine. Most go with the regular blends and/or Southern Pecan. Thanks for the consideration!

4th of July

2009-07-04T01:06:00.000-07:00

"You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4, not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from happiness. You may think you have overeaten, but it is patriotism.” – Erma Bombeck (with special thanks to Mary Tom Bass)

Greetings from Kuwait where it's always sunny! What a treat to be celebrating the 4th of July with the Troops. Since I can't be with my own family, I can't think of a better group to be with. Though many of us don't get the day off here, there are some barbecues and stuff planned for this evening. I havn't heard of any fireworks, but we'll see. The new Terminator movie is showing so that gives us something to look forward to.

It's been a tough week (more so than usual) with the death of one of my Soldiers. The young man leaves behind 2 little girls under the age of 2, one of which was born while he was here. My heart aches for them.

I'm so proud of his unit at the same time. They're a small detachment of only 20 or so Soldiers. The entire batallion is only about 100 strong. Fortunately, this small band of brothers and sisters have not had any experience with losing one of their own. This led to a challenge pulling of the memorial ceremony. There was a leadership vacuum at this time resulting in an increased reliance on me. This at a time when I'm once again without a Chaplain Assistant. Nevertheless God is faithful and the ceremony was honoring to their fallen comrade. It provided the unit a time to grieve. It was very cathartic for all involved and provided a sense of closure. Closure doesn't mean we forget, we never will, but it is an important step in turning the corner and moving on.

As you celebrate this Independence Day, enjoy the time with family and friends. Thank God for this country and say a special prayer for the guardians of our freedom.

The Wandering Chaplain

Sandstorms

2009-06-21T02:22:00.000-07:00

Have you ever seen The Mummy? If so, do you remember the scene where the Mummy creates a sand storm that looks like a wall of sand rolling over the desert? Well that's the experience I had this week. I had heard that these storms could just show up with little warning, but it's hard to fathom it until you've seen it. I had just finished picking up a late meal and got back on the shuttle bus. Visibility was fine. Five minutes later you could hardly see 50 feet out the front of the bus! Headlights and taillights were barely visible. When we arrived at my stop, I debated just staying on the bus til the storm subsided. But a desire to get to bed got the best of me so I exited the bus and braved the elements. With patrol cap pulled down low and sunglasses on at night, I tried to shield my eyes from the sand. I was partially successful but my moist soft drink can was caked with sand. Nothing some baby wipes cant handle!
(The pic is not mine, but one I found on the 'net from Iraq. It gives a good idea of what these storms can do!)

The Wandering Chaplain

Bahrain

2009-06-18T02:51:00.000-07:00

After returning from Afghanistan, I had a week to recharge in Kuwait. The following weekend found me in Bahrain for an initial site visit to my Soldiers there. Bahrain is an ever growing island in the Persian Gulf. Yes it's growing! This affluent Kingdom is "reclaiming" land by building sea walls around areas, then pumping out the water and filling it with sand. The hotel we stayed in (yes hotel at this location... NICE!) used to be on the beach. Now you cant even see the coastline partly from reclamation and part due to construction of high rises.
After the ruggedness of Afghanistan, Bahrain was a very nice getaway. My Soldiers work out of the Navy base there. They live in the city and commute to the base. As a result, there's much more freedom here. Bahrain is a more moderate Islamic state. There are clubs, 5 star hotels, and a rather european flare. Some of the Soldiers were commenting on how similar we all are. Sitting in a club, listening to a live Filipino band while having a beer, they can look around and see Arabs doing the exact same thing... having a drink after a long day. Too bad we can't all have such interactions.
On the opposite end of the spectrum, there was an article in Stars and Stripes about an incident in Afghanistan that gave me feelings of anger and sorrow at the same time. In an attempt to undermine the government, members of the Taliban had attacked a provincial subgovernor. They forced the man with his three young children (all under the age of 8) back into their car, doused it gasoline and burned them alive. War is hell, but what kind of person brutalizes children like that? Certainly the people of Afghanistan deserve better. Makes you want to pray Psalm 94.

The Wandering Chaplain

Whatcha been reading?

2009-06-09T10:47:00.000-07:00

During some of my downtime at the airport(s) waiting to see if we'd get on the plane, I had the chance to read Wild at Heart and The Shack. Both were good books that I recommend. I'm not so sure I buy into everything within Wild at Heart. The author almost plays too much into the male and female stereotypes for me, but he makes some good points. It's a worthwile read if you can get your hands on it. I'll make use of it in future sermons no doubt and apply some of it to parenting 3 boys.
The Shack is a book recommended by my wife. What a thought provoking story! It takes the most tragic thing a parent could ever go through and works its way in story form through issues of suffering, tragedy, good and evil, forgiveness and redemption. I found it very cathartic. I had to stop at times to avoid crying (macho Soldier ya know) and laugh out loud at others.
Some churches have placed The Shack on their blacklist telling church members to stay away from it. Granted the book is anti-institution (but pro-God), anti-religion (but pro-relationship), and arguably anti-scriptue (but pro-revelation). It also raised questions of univeralism and was sprinkled with elements of Buddhism. (I plan to use it in my World Religions course). But as one well versed in orthodox Christianity, it had a sound presentation of the Trinity and did the best job I can recall on dealing with the problem of evil and suffering in the world.
Go ahead and pick it up. Tell the narrow-minded to get their head out of the sand.

The Wandering Chaplain

Afghanistan Revisited

2009-06-09T09:45:00.000-07:00

Wow! I just flew in from Afghanistan and boy are my arms tired (ta dum dum)! I know it sounds weird, but it's good to be back in Kuwait (where it's always sunny... today's high was only 109). The rest of my trip in Afghanistan was very rewarding. My chaplain assistant and I wound up taking 7 flights in 7 days as we FOB hopped around the country to Bagram, Kabul, Kandahar and Jalalabad. We only failed to make it to Salerno. This was a very rewarding and exhausting trip usually with about 3-4 hours sleep on a cot (but at least we had a cot!)
I had the chance to visit with numerous Soldiers. Some were part of my unit; some were not. Though I always enjoy that part of the mission, it does not come natural to me as an introvert. I've been told that extraverts feed off social interaction, while introverts are drained by it. That's certainly true in my case, but I wouldn't trade the time with the Soldiers.
I've already told you about Bagram. Our Kabul team was actually located at one of the area camps so once we got off the plane (instead of taking a helicopter directly to the camp), we now had to arrange ground transportation to the camp (this we did not plan on and somehow someone failed to inform us!) We were fortunate to hitch a ride with a security detachment though the streets of Kabul. Our return trip to the airport was with a regular convoy. It was impressive to see the professionalism of the convoy commander and the preparation taken before going "outside the wire." This is certainly an increased level of apprehension at this location.
The NCOIC of our Kabul team reminded me of The Rock in both appearance and charisma. He was very outgoing, definite extravert, and seemed to talk my ears off for 3 hours straight! It's humbling and amazing to me how quickly my Soldiers open up to "their Chaplain." These guys are regularly pulling a 70 hour work week. Maybe that's why they're so happy to see me? Chappy comes and they get some down time!
Next stop Kandahar. Instead of getting a good night's rest, there was a flight heading out that night to Kandahar so we hopped on it. Arriving at 2:00 am without first making contact probably wasnt the best idea. Instead of waking our team up, we navigated our way to the transient tents. If you're ever there, just follow your nose. Kandahar apparently has a lagoon for its sewage and this night the wind was blowing the wrong direction. Nasty! It reminded me of the pig farms by the church I pastored in Spring Hope. Or of the smell of the paper companies in Mobile.
While here, I was able to confirm a rumor that the Taliban had placed bounties on the religious leaders in the area to include Chaplains. Several Imams who had been working with the Chaplains on humanitarian missions had been murdered. One of the chapels here is named after a chaplain assistant who had been killed by an IED. I met his chaplain back in Kuwait. The bounties were advertised in the local papers and some were as high as $50,000. Next time someone tells me I'm good for nothing, I'll tell 'em I'm worth 50 G's baby!!! (can you tell I'm tired with such a sick sense of humor?)
From Kandahar we traveled back to Bagram before heading to Jalalabad. The C-130 load masters briefed us on the possible need for barf bags citing they usually take fire entering Jalalabad and the evasive maneuvres can be pretty "moving". I sat next to the bucket just in case. Sure enough the evasive maneuvres came, but fortunately no one barfed. I never heard if we actually received fire or not, but either way thank God we weren't hit.
Our team in J-bad actually had a representative meet us on the runway. They were especially happy to see us because we were the "first visitors they've had" since arriving in country. To be sure there were other hundreds of other people at this base, but we were the first from their unit to visit them. As part of the Commander's personal staff, they greatly appreciated my visit and made me feel very welcome. I got a mini-tour of the base and had a chance to meet the base Chaplains and talk extensively to my Soldiers. These guys are also pulling the long hours.
While in Afghanistan I received some sour news I wont go into here, but I was really ticked off. Had me steaming! Fortunately, when I started interacting with the Soldiers I completely forgot about my "problems." Isn't is amazing how small our world gets when we focus on our problems, but how small our problems get when we focus on others? I know I had requested prayer support from some of you during this time. I can tell you that God answered your prayers. I could almost literally feel the burden being lifted and my spirits renewed. Thanks.

CH (CPT) Paul Tolbert
595th Trans Term Grp
APO, AE 09366

Fallen Comrade Ceremonies

2009-06-07T17:41:00.000-07:00

03 June 2009

Afghanistan Part Deux

Reality. That's how my second trip to Afghanistan started. After a cramped ride on a C-17, we departed onto the runway at Bagram Air Field. There wasn't as much snow on the mountains as there was a few weeks ago. The air wasn't quite as cool either. Summer was approaching. It was still better than the furnace that is Kuwait. We have 5 destinations scattered throughout Afghanistan on this visit. A small room in what was called a B-Hut was offered for accommodations, but the transient tent was closer to the air terminal and we would be traveling quite a bit on this trip so we opted for the more Spartan accommodations. It was just a simple cot, but got the job done.

Our first day here started and ended with a Fallen Comrade Ceremony. As the 150+ of us left the plane, we were instructed to form a single file line along the runway. After about 20-25 minutes, the procession of vehicles reached our location. As one of the humvees passed, I noticed the flag draped coffin it was carrying. Fellow Soldiers were seated alongside like pall bearers, their expressionless countenance staring staight ahead. As the vehicle approached, we came to the position of attention and slowly saluted our Fallen Comrades. The vehice eventually pulled out of sight and we resumed the arrival in-processing. Just before exiting the runway, I could vaguely here the playing of "Taps."

Later that evening, after I was already in my sleeping bag, the announcement came over the loud speaker for all available personnel to report in uniform to the main drive in half an hour for another Fallen Comrade Ceremony. I confess I was tempted momentarily to just stay in bed. After all it had been a long day and I had only cat naps on the plane the night before. However I remembered the Chaplain motto.

Nurture the living. Care for the wounded. Honor the dead.

I don't know if the deceased was a Soldier, Marine or Airman, but he/she had made the final sacrifice and it was my duty, my honor, to pay homage to my Fallen Comrade. Besides, sleep is overrated :-) The service members in the cots on either side of me just rolled over. One was Army. One was Air Force. I debated saying something to them, but didn't. In hindsite I probably should have. Instead I threw back the covers and slowly but deliberately got dressed. I was pleased to see the majority of the other service members were doing the same.

Upon exiting the tent, I saw a gaggle of Soldiers, two E-8's and two E-3's. We waited together and made small talk before heading out to Disney Drive. When I first heard that name a few weeks ago, I thought they had named it after Disney World in an attempt to lighten the atmosphere of war. Then I learned it had been named after a young Soldier who had been killed in action. I was reminded at that time, "you don't want anything named after you here."

Finally the time came. It was quite a sight. Both sides of the road were lined with Soldiers, Marines and Airmen all at the position of parade rest. As the vehicle approached, both sides of the road came to the position of attention. Slowly saluted and held the salute until the flag-draped coffin with the surviving squad members passed. Once the vehicle was out of sight, we quietly exited and went back to bed.

For some I'm sure this was business as usual in a war zone. For me it was a first, solemn experience. Someone back in the States had lost a son or daughter; a husband or wife; a father or mother; a brother or sister; a friend. I said a prayer for them knowing that their loved one was honored as they left country. It is my understanding that these coffins will never be alone, but be accompanied by Service Members all the way back to the USA where they will be received by an Officer, usually a Chaplain. Eventually the body will make its way to their final resting place; their soul having already arrived.

Nurture the living. Care for the wounded. Honor the dead.

Memorial Day in Iraq

2009-05-28T21:28:00.000-07:00

Greetings from Kuwait where it’s always sunny (high temps this week have exceeded 110 degrees each day)! My Memorial Day was spent with my first trip to Iraq and meeting most of my troops based at Joint Base Balad (formerly known as Camp Anaconda). I enjoyed making the initial contacts with my Soldiers and Coast Guardsmen. One of the Guardians was from Durham and the entire RAID Team were Duke Fans! Needless to say we hit it off from the beginning! They even told me of a Duke painted T-Barrier at another base… 

Balad was depressing getting off the plane when compared to that of Bagram. It may have been the plane (a C-130 instead of a C-17). The air was very dusty there at the airport and all the trees reminded me of “weeping willows.” I don’t think they were actually willows, but they sagged and had a “sad” look about them. The temp wasn’t that bad. It only got up to 103 and my lodging was actually a “room” with a real good AC unit!

After spending Memorial Day with the troops and their combined Hail, Farewell and Promotion Ceremony, we parted ways after Supper (wonderful dates here…. the fruit). I found the USO and discovered a cool program that allows Soldiers to record themselves reading a children’s book to their kids. The book and DVD is then mailed to the children back home. I took part in the offering and am sending a book and DVD to each of the boys. Maybe April can get a break and just put in the DVD and give the boys their book for Dad to read them at bedtime! The following days were spent doing ministry of presence and informal counseling opportunities around the redeployment conference my guys were hosting.

Some of you current and former Service Members might appreciate this. So far my flights in and around Theater really haven’t been that bad… until my return trip from Kuwait. I am affectionately naming this experience the “Flight from Hell Part 1.” Part 1 because no doubt it can be worse and I’m sure it’s just a matter of time. To start off, my flight was cancelled so we scrambled to find alternate transportation. Fortunately, 4 of our return party got confirmed seats on an R&R flight. The plane was a C-130 and it was packed! Soldiers sitting on the canvas seats in full battle rattle hip to hip left and right; knee to knee with the Soldier across from you. What should have been a 2 hour direct flight turned into a 7+ hour odyssey with no opportunity to get off the plane. To make it worse, one of the guys was rather “gassy” and couldn’t help but share his fragrant offerings with the rest of us! Combine that with the tactical take off and landings and it’s a wonder the flight didn’t turn into a barf fest. I sure was praying on some of those landings, “Lord, please don’t let me throw up!“ (Yes God still answers prayers.) First it was South to drop off civilians, then back north to pick up more Soldiers to sardine in where the civilians were then finally back south to drop all of us off. We finally arrived at Arifjan about 0300 (3 am). Some hadn’t eaten since breakfast the previous day…

The base was mortared a few times while we were there. It wasn’t close to my location, but close enough for us to hear the warning siren and the explosion. No word on any casualties, but this Memorial Day has taken on new meaning for me and the risk all of our Service Members (past, present, and future) have taken on in our all volunteer force. Lt Gen Schultz referenced the following quote from Ronald Reagan in his Memorial Day Message. I certainly can’t improve on it so I’ll simply close with it.

"I have no illusions about what little I can add now to the silent testimony of those who gave their lives willingly for their country. Words are even more feeble on this Memorial Day, for the sight before us is that of a strong and good nation that stands in silence and remembers those who were loved and who, in return, loved their countrymen enough to die for them. Yet, we must try to honor them -- not for their sakes alone, but for our own. And if words cannot repay the debt we owe these men, surely with our actions we must strive to keep faith with them and with the vision that led them to battle and to final sacrifice."
- President Ronald Reagan, May 21, 1982, Memorial Day, Arlington National Cemetery

Beautiful Bagram

2009-05-14T05:06:00.000-07:00

Greetings from Afghanistan!

With my new chaplain assistant finally in country, we’re able to get out to see some of our downtrace units. First stop: Afghanistan. It was quite a memorable scene boarding the back of a C-17 for the first time. Sleeping sitting straight up in full battle rattle was a challenge but I did manage to sneak in a few cat naps. The scenery when we exited the plane was breathtaking with the snow-capped mountains, blue skies, and green fields of Bagram Air Field. Quite the contrast to the khaki colored everything of Arifjan, Kuwait.

Walking down the streets lined with green trees and the sound of traffic prompted my assistant to comment, “it’s like strolling down main street of a regular city.” I replied, “yeah, except everyone has an M-16 slung around their shoulder.” J

Though a quick first trip, it has already proved productive. I met one of the base chaplains to establish contact for area coverage and discuss the ministry challenges and transportation to the outlying FOB’s (forward operating base). Even though a chaplain is available for anyone that needs him/her, it can fill up one’s schedule just taking care of the Soldiers in your own unit. I saw this firsthand when greeting my Soldiers. Even though there was a chaplain right down the hall, he wasn’t “their chaplain.” The chaplain was available for the Soldier to seek out, but wouldn’t normally seek out my Soldiers. Not because he didn’t care, but because he had his own Soldiers to minister to. As a result, even though it was the first time I’d been to this location, my Soldiers were anxious to speak to me simply because I wore the same unit patch and came to see them. It was one of those “divine appointments” and made the plane trip worthwhile. I’ll be sure to get on a regular schedule to visit my Soldiers. I’ll also be more mindful of the Soldiers in my area that aren’t a part of my unit.

I appreciate the support and encouraging words from family, friends, “acorns”, co-workers and even total strangers. Of special note, I contacted Integrity Music and Keurig Coffeemakers to see if they’d like to donate to the cause. Integrity Music sent the first 6 Volumes of their iWorship *.mpg library for use in my chapel services. Keurig donated one of their top of the line K-cup coffee makers along with 200 k-cups of coffee. With 12+ hour days, 6 days a week, coffee is mission essential!

Psalm 144:1

Chaplain Tolbert

It's Always Sunny in Kuwait!

2009-04-25T00:53:00.000-07:00

25 April 2009

“After oil, everyone loves us. Before oil, only the missionaries loved us.” So goes a Kuwaiti saying. As a result of Christian missionaries reaching out to this nomadic people, Christians today have a recognized part of Kuwaiti society. They are largely unmolested and allowed to worship freely at their designated, limited sites. I had the opportunity to go on a humanitarian mission and distribute school supplies to a thriving Christian school in Kuwait city. It was the first time some in our group had seen children in nearly a year… and they were so precious! The various classes put on skits or sang songs. The 3rd and 4th graders belted out “The Blood Will Never Lose Its Power.” What a blessing!

I am settled into my mission here in Kuwait. The schedule has had to be flexible given that I’ve been operating without a Chaplain Assistant (CA). A Chaplain Assistant is an enlisted Soldier whose MOS training prepares them to be partnered with a Chaplain to form a Unit Ministry Team (UMT). This partnering of an Officer with an Enlisted Soldier is seen in many areas of the Army: Platoon Leader and Platoon Sergeant, Company Commander and First Sergeant, etc. My incoming CA will arrive this week.

I preached 3 times last Sunday. One service starts about 10:30 EST so while many of you are starting your 11:00 service, I’ll be getting up to preach. It’s been nice to see the body of Christ work over here. The services include all flavors of Protestant Christianity. One of my services has a drummer, keyboard player, and 2 guitarists. Just regular members of the body of Christ exercising their talents for ministry during a deployment. My sermons have been well received and there’s an uplifting time to our worship.

The temperature broke 100 degrees yesterday. It was the first time I really noticed the heat. The wind was blowing and it felt like a hair dryer. Rumor has it the temps will get up to 140 degrees. Charlie Daniels was here. He sang, “The Devil went down to Kuwait but went back because it was too hot!” Just kidding. Charlie Daniels was here, but he didn’t alter his song…

Thanks again for your prayer support for me, my family, and this mission.

CH (CPT) Paul Tolbert
595th TTG Trans Term Grp
APO, AE 09366

Goodbye Benning! Hello Kuwait!

2009-04-06T15:35:00.000-07:00

Well, well, well... where to start? This is the first of what I hope will be many blogs throughout my deployment. Of course I'm two weeks into being mobilized and am just now putting some thoughts into writing. I realize there will be several didn't types of people reading this: family, friends, church members, co-workers and strangers. I've thought about putting out different editions for different folks, but for the time being let's just see if I can do a single thread. I guess I'll start by summarizing what's happened to date and some of the miscellaneous thoughts that have ran through my head.

As of today, I am STILL at Ft Benning, GA. My understanding of the Army's”Hurry up, Wait” has been taken to new levels. April and the boys took me to RDU on 21 March. The Delta personnel were kind enough to allow them to go back to the gate with me so we could spend an extra hour together before getting on the plane. I'm fortunate that just about everyone in my life has been very supportive during this time. From old friends on Facebook to new friends at White Oak; from co-workers at the college to neighbors offering to help with anything, I am so thankful to be living in this part of the country and have so many of you in my life. My cup surely runneth over. It's humbling because I dont think I've done anything to deserve it, but I recognize it as a way people show appreciation for all those who wear the uniform so I smile and accept it on their behalf.

It was rough saying bye to April and the boys. Stephen has been the most vocal in expressing his anxiety. He fluctuates from “dad, I don't want you to go to war” to “what if you get shot?” to getting excited about the prospects of a souvenir (he recently asked if I thought there'd be “Indiana Jones” toys in Kuwait). In trying to express himself, he at times wants to be a soldier to “smack down” the bad soldiers. Other times he says he doesnt want to be in the Army so he wont have to be taken away from his little boys.

It was bittersweet at the airport. The time came to say goodbye so I told the boys to give me one last hug. Stephen had been a little aloof, but he knew what this meant and gave me a “big squeeze” and started bawling. Caleb knew something was up and started pseudo-crying with his eyes open and fixed on his brother (I guess he figured, “when in Rome....”). April and Noah gave me the last hugs and kisses. I can't say enough about April. As we have become one flesh for more than 15 years now, she is certainly the best part of me. I pray our boys will receive all of her good habits and none of my bad ones.

There was another younger soldier saying goodbye to his little girl. We boarded the plane together. “Rough saying goodbye,” I mumbled. “Yeah,” he replied.

The flight to Atlanta was melancholy. I was already missing my family. To pass the time, I turned to Scripture. My pocket New Testament with Psalms and Proverbs was a paperback I “borrowed” from the church workroom (wink, wink). It has “Hope for the Highway” on it. How appropriate. I started reading Proverbs. Though I've read it countless times before, I was still amazed by the practical wisdom. So much of it is addressed to “my son.” I couldnt help but think of my boys and thought this would be a good book for us to read through together.

As Scripture breathes with the breath of God (2 Timothy 3:16), it is life-giving and my spirits were lifted. My outlook improved even more while waiting for my connecting flight. Upon arriving at my gate, I of course saw the familiar digital camoflauge of fellow soldiers. I've been told before of the bond between the Army family. I've seen it a time or two, but nothing like this. I didnt know anyone, but immediately felt a sense of belonging. The chaplain's “ministry of presence” was working in reverse!

My brother Patrick (aka “Pooch”) made the drive from Mobile to Columbus. He took me to a late lunch / early dinner at Outback. We just visited. I questioned whether it was worth a 4 hour drive each way just to spend an hour with me. He wanted to do it. My “little” brother (Pooch is 6'4”) has grown into quite the family man. He honored me by his gesture. I'm very proud of him. I think he, Justin (my other brother) and I all agree we need to make a concerted effort to be a better family. To communicate more and be a part of one another's lives.

Well the time has come. Pooch dropped me off at the CRC, the CONUS Replacement Center (CONUS stands for Continental United States). Finally I would check in to the CRC and my tour would begin right? Wrong. Apparently my confirmed reservation didnt mean a thing. The CRC was overbooked and I couldnt be processed this week! They would assign me lodging and guarantee me a seat with the group processing the following Saturday. I confess I was a little ticked. What was I supposed to do for a week? What good was having a confirmed reservation? Alas, just grin and bear it. After all, the Chaplain can't get ticked off can he? (At least he can't show it ;-) As it turned out, there were at least 2 dozen soldiers in the same boat. Probably more. Welcome to the Army.

When the Army gives you lemons, make lemonade! I decided to “Give thanks in everything” (1 Thessalonians 5:18). I had been burning the candle at both ends and reasoned this was God's way of giving me some down time for self-care. I used my newly found “free time” to hit the gym at least a couple of times a day and catch up on some reading. I started reading through the Psalms. Even after all these years, the Psalms still breathe fresh air into stale quiet times. I even came across a Psalm that would be a great responsive reading for a congregation who has a member deploying (Psalm 20).

While I'm on the topic of Psalms, I read “The Faith of the American Soldier” while here. I recommend it if you have the time. It concluded with an account of some Marines who had developed their own liturgy prior to going on patrol. The liturgy included Psalm 51 for confession, a few songs, and concluded with Psalm 144:1-2, 5-6.

1May the Lord my rock be praised,

who trains my hands for battle

and my fingers for warfare.

2He is my faithful love and my fortress,

my stronghold and my deliverer.

He is my shield, and I take refuge in Him;

He subdues peoples under me.

5Lord, part your heavens and come down.

Touch the heavens and they will smoke.

6Flash your lightning and scatter the foe;

shoot your arrows and rout them.

One might be able to include verses 7 and 8 in such a liturgy. The book made a compelling case for a faith based warrior moral code that is currently lacking in today's secular military. The author seemed to think that Chaplains were handcuffed by current regulations and this absence of a warrior code (similar to the knights of old) inevitably leads to abuses like that of Abu Graib.

One day that first week, must have been Tuesday 3/24, I was sitting in the Religious Education Center (REC) trying to watch Monday's episode of 24. I had heard one soldier reference a website where you could watch recent television programs so I tried it out and it worked. I was in my PT uniform (Physical Training) with the headphones on. While there, one of the civilian contractors wanted to strike up a conversation. The REC was a centrally located portable building and the only one with a restroom so it received quite a bit of traffic. At first I was a little annoyed by the interruption, but I've begun to see such dis-appointments as possible divine appointments.

After a few minutes of small talk, I discovered this contractor was a retired Sergeant Major. I took the opportunity to pick his brain about deployments and asked for any recommendations he'd have for a chaplain deploying for the first time. He offered insight like keep up on your PT and be out among the soldiers. He recounted a story of a chaplain who stayed in his office and was never out among the soldiers. As a result, the soldiers would never go to him. (The “Faith of the American Soldier” made a similar observation about the chaplain at Abu Graib. She was told by her commander to stay in her office. If the soldiers needed her, they'd know where to find her.” We see how that went).

I was convicted by what the SGM said. I hadnt been avoiding anyone, but I had been keeping to myself in the gym, day room, and the REC. I resolved to be more intentional with my time at the CRC. For the time being, they were my flock and could use ministry of presence. For the remainder of the week, I tried to strike up conversations with folks and be more visible. Instead of wearing my civilian clothes, I wore my uniform in order to be more readily identifiable as a chaplain. It worked and I had numerous conversations with soldiers and civilians alike of varying religious backgrounds (Southern Baptists, Daoist, Episcopal, Roman Catholic turned Wiccan, etc).

On Wednesday, I decided to do some prayer walking. That morning I walked the rectangular block that was the CRC compound reading the gospel of Mark. It was several trips around before I finished the gospel. My prayer since that day has been that God will help me be light in the darkness. One way for that to happen is to be visible. As a chaplain, I play a different though parallel role to that of a civilian pastor. Back home, I can go to Wal Mart and usually no one will know I'm a pastor or a religion professor. In the Army, my uniform has a Cross on it... in two places. There's one on my headgear where rank would normally go. There's another above my name on the right side of my chest. The Army wants me to be identifiable. I dont carry my religion on my sleeve, just on my head and chest! :-) The purpose of the prayer walk was not to bring attention to myself, but to remind people of their faith. The chaplain is the visible presence of God much like the priests of old or the pastor at the hospital. By being visible, other soldiers with a faith commitment can be encouraged just by the sight of the chaplain praying for them. Those without a faith commitment may pause to think about their own moral code.

Being more visible seemed to make a difference. Several soldiers and civilians stopped me just to chat. A 1^st Sgt walked across the street to let me know he's available if I needed anything. On Friday, 3/27, the day I was supposed to be flying out, I put on the uniform and made my way down to where the buses were being loaded with soldiers and civilians to be taken to the airport. Several of the soldiers and civilians stepped out of line to shake my hand. It was clear for those who were deploying for the first time that they had anxiety. One civilian asked with a hopeful tone in her voice, "are you going with us?" I replied, "Unfortunately, no. I'm headed out next week. I just came out this morning to offer my support." She thanked me and loaded the bus. I spoke a blessing over the buses and sought shelter from the rain.

As an anecdote of a possible difference made by chaplain visibility, I attended the worship service held for the CRC processing group on Wednesday, 3/25. This was a 20 minute general protestant service held in a classroom. I helped the Chaplain on site pass out Bible and hymnals to the attendees. If I had to guess, there were maybe a dozen that showed up. The following week when my CRC group was processing, there were over twice as many attendees. I dont know exactly how many, but the chaplain ran out of Bibles and hymnals and some were still trickling in. Granted several things could explain the increase in attendance. Could just be a more spiritual group of people, better job advertising, a reminder that Palm Sunday was approaching, but I like to think the visible chaplain serving as a faith reminder for the past week had something to do with it as well. Regardless, to God be the glory.

During my actual week of processing, we had several classroom exercises. Some were death by powerpoint, others were more active participation first aid classes like how to bandage a sucking chest wound (I know what you're thinking, “dont all chest wounds suck?” :-) We received 4 duffel bags full of equipment. Some you hope you'll never use (suits for a chemical and biological weapons environment). They also kept wanting to issue me a M9 firearm. Though it would be nice to receive the training, I had to remind them that as a chaplain I'm not authorized to carry one. I can just see Chaplain Dirty Harry with his M9 pointed at a terrorist, “so you feel lucky, punk? Well do ya?” Or Chaplain Scarface, “say hello to my little friend!!!” Pardon the gallows humor.

On the bright side, since I dont carry a weapon I didnt have to go through the weapons qualifying on Thursday 4/2 resulting in me having the day off. Of course I didnt know this until Wednesday night. One of the benefits of being delayed a week was that I got to see April and the boys again. They were planning on driving to the Gulf Coast on Friday, 4/3. I called April on Wednesday and told her I had Thursday off. Without hesitating, she agreed to pack the boys up and left Wednesday night! They drove half way and picked me up Thursday morning around 9:30. We spent the day together. The boys didnt know about it so they were pleasantly surprised to say the least! So was I, woo hoo!

Thursday evening 4/2 was supposed to be the flight briefing, but guess what? That's right. I got bumped again! This time the flight was overbooked so 20 of us were bumped to Monday's flight. Argh! Upon saying goodbye to April, I told her I'll make it Kuwait eventually. In hindsight, I should have kept her and the boys here for the weekend.

So now I'm all packed. It's Sunday night a little after 1900 hrs. Yesterday I had to sit through watching UNC advance to the championship game over the team that humiliated Duke. Tomorrow I'm “supposed” to catch a flight. The delay has allowed me to rest up. I no longer will have any time with the chaplain I'm replacing as he's already left Kuwait. The chaplain assistant will be leaving the end of the week and his replacement wont be in country until next month. I'm supposed to have someone detailed to me until the replacement 56M arrives.

Please pray that God can use me to be light in the darkness; that the soldiers can keep hold of their humanity in the inhumanity of war. Pray that I'll be up to the challenge and will represent my God, my family and my country well.

Joshua 1:9 “Havn't I commanded you: be strong and courageous? Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

Amen.

CH (CPT) Paul Tolbert

595^th Trans Term Grp

APO, AE 09366