It's Always Sunny in Kuwait!

25 April 2009

“After oil, everyone loves us. Before oil, only the missionaries loved us.” So goes a Kuwaiti saying. As a result of Christian missionaries reaching out to this nomadic people, Christians today have a recognized part of Kuwaiti society. They are largely unmolested and allowed to worship freely at their designated, limited sites. I had the opportunity to go on a humanitarian mission and distribute school supplies to a thriving Christian school in Kuwait city. It was the first time some in our group had seen children in nearly a year… and they were so precious! The various classes put on skits or sang songs. The 3rd and 4th graders belted out “The Blood Will Never Lose Its Power.” What a blessing!

I am settled into my mission here in Kuwait. The schedule has had to be flexible given that I’ve been operating without a Chaplain Assistant (CA). A Chaplain Assistant is an enlisted Soldier whose MOS training prepares them to be partnered with a Chaplain to form a Unit Ministry Team (UMT). This partnering of an Officer with an Enlisted Soldier is seen in many areas of the Army: Platoon Leader and Platoon Sergeant, Company Commander and First Sergeant, etc. My incoming CA will arrive this week.

I preached 3 times last Sunday. One service starts about 10:30 EST so while many of you are starting your 11:00 service, I’ll be getting up to preach. It’s been nice to see the body of Christ work over here. The services include all flavors of Protestant Christianity. One of my services has a drummer, keyboard player, and 2 guitarists. Just regular members of the body of Christ exercising their talents for ministry during a deployment. My sermons have been well received and there’s an uplifting time to our worship.

The temperature broke 100 degrees yesterday. It was the first time I really noticed the heat. The wind was blowing and it felt like a hair dryer. Rumor has it the temps will get up to 140 degrees. Charlie Daniels was here. He sang, “The Devil went down to Kuwait but went back because it was too hot!” Just kidding. Charlie Daniels was here, but he didn’t alter his song…

Thanks again for your prayer support for me, my family, and this mission.

CH (CPT) Paul Tolbert
595th TTG Trans Term Grp
APO, AE 09366

Goodbye Benning! Hello Kuwait!

Well, well, well... where to start? This is the first of what I hope will be many blogs throughout my deployment. Of course I'm two weeks into being mobilized and am just now putting some thoughts into writing. I realize there will be several didn't types of people reading this: family, friends, church members, co-workers and strangers. I've thought about putting out different editions for different folks, but for the time being let's just see if I can do a single thread. I guess I'll start by summarizing what's happened to date and some of the miscellaneous thoughts that have ran through my head.

As of today, I am STILL at Ft Benning, GA. My understanding of the Army's”Hurry up, Wait” has been taken to new levels. April and the boys took me to RDU on 21 March. The Delta personnel were kind enough to allow them to go back to the gate with me so we could spend an extra hour together before getting on the plane. I'm fortunate that just about everyone in my life has been very supportive during this time. From old friends on Facebook to new friends at White Oak; from co-workers at the college to neighbors offering to help with anything, I am so thankful to be living in this part of the country and have so many of you in my life. My cup surely runneth over. It's humbling because I dont think I've done anything to deserve it, but I recognize it as a way people show appreciation for all those who wear the uniform so I smile and accept it on their behalf.

It was rough saying bye to April and the boys. Stephen has been the most vocal in expressing his anxiety. He fluctuates from “dad, I don't want you to go to war” to “what if you get shot?” to getting excited about the prospects of a souvenir (he recently asked if I thought there'd be “Indiana Jones” toys in Kuwait). In trying to express himself, he at times wants to be a soldier to “smack down” the bad soldiers. Other times he says he doesnt want to be in the Army so he wont have to be taken away from his little boys.

It was bittersweet at the airport. The time came to say goodbye so I told the boys to give me one last hug. Stephen had been a little aloof, but he knew what this meant and gave me a “big squeeze” and started bawling. Caleb knew something was up and started pseudo-crying with his eyes open and fixed on his brother (I guess he figured, “when in Rome....”). April and Noah gave me the last hugs and kisses. I can't say enough about April. As we have become one flesh for more than 15 years now, she is certainly the best part of me. I pray our boys will receive all of her good habits and none of my bad ones.

There was another younger soldier saying goodbye to his little girl. We boarded the plane together. “Rough saying goodbye,” I mumbled. “Yeah,” he replied.

The flight to Atlanta was melancholy. I was already missing my family. To pass the time, I turned to Scripture. My pocket New Testament with Psalms and Proverbs was a paperback I “borrowed” from the church workroom (wink, wink). It has “Hope for the Highway” on it. How appropriate. I started reading Proverbs. Though I've read it countless times before, I was still amazed by the practical wisdom. So much of it is addressed to “my son.” I couldnt help but think of my boys and thought this would be a good book for us to read through together.

As Scripture breathes with the breath of God (2 Timothy 3:16), it is life-giving and my spirits were lifted. My outlook improved even more while waiting for my connecting flight. Upon arriving at my gate, I of course saw the familiar digital camoflauge of fellow soldiers. I've been told before of the bond between the Army family. I've seen it a time or two, but nothing like this. I didnt know anyone, but immediately felt a sense of belonging. The chaplain's “ministry of presence” was working in reverse!

My brother Patrick (aka “Pooch”) made the drive from Mobile to Columbus. He took me to a late lunch / early dinner at Outback. We just visited. I questioned whether it was worth a 4 hour drive each way just to spend an hour with me. He wanted to do it. My “little” brother (Pooch is 6'4”) has grown into quite the family man. He honored me by his gesture. I'm very proud of him. I think he, Justin (my other brother) and I all agree we need to make a concerted effort to be a better family. To communicate more and be a part of one another's lives.

Well the time has come. Pooch dropped me off at the CRC, the CONUS Replacement Center (CONUS stands for Continental United States). Finally I would check in to the CRC and my tour would begin right? Wrong. Apparently my confirmed reservation didnt mean a thing. The CRC was overbooked and I couldnt be processed this week! They would assign me lodging and guarantee me a seat with the group processing the following Saturday. I confess I was a little ticked. What was I supposed to do for a week? What good was having a confirmed reservation? Alas, just grin and bear it. After all, the Chaplain can't get ticked off can he? (At least he can't show it ;-) As it turned out, there were at least 2 dozen soldiers in the same boat. Probably more. Welcome to the Army.

When the Army gives you lemons, make lemonade! I decided to “Give thanks in everything” (1 Thessalonians 5:18). I had been burning the candle at both ends and reasoned this was God's way of giving me some down time for self-care. I used my newly found “free time” to hit the gym at least a couple of times a day and catch up on some reading. I started reading through the Psalms. Even after all these years, the Psalms still breathe fresh air into stale quiet times. I even came across a Psalm that would be a great responsive reading for a congregation who has a member deploying (Psalm 20).

While I'm on the topic of Psalms, I read “The Faith of the American Soldier” while here. I recommend it if you have the time. It concluded with an account of some Marines who had developed their own liturgy prior to going on patrol. The liturgy included Psalm 51 for confession, a few songs, and concluded with Psalm 144:1-2, 5-6.

1May the Lord my rock be praised,

who trains my hands for battle

and my fingers for warfare.

2He is my faithful love and my fortress,

my stronghold and my deliverer.

He is my shield, and I take refuge in Him;

He subdues peoples under me.

5Lord, part your heavens and come down.

Touch the heavens and they will smoke.

6Flash your lightning and scatter the foe;

shoot your arrows and rout them.

One might be able to include verses 7 and 8 in such a liturgy. The book made a compelling case for a faith based warrior moral code that is currently lacking in today's secular military. The author seemed to think that Chaplains were handcuffed by current regulations and this absence of a warrior code (similar to the knights of old) inevitably leads to abuses like that of Abu Graib.

One day that first week, must have been Tuesday 3/24, I was sitting in the Religious Education Center (REC) trying to watch Monday's episode of 24. I had heard one soldier reference a website where you could watch recent television programs so I tried it out and it worked. I was in my PT uniform (Physical Training) with the headphones on. While there, one of the civilian contractors wanted to strike up a conversation. The REC was a centrally located portable building and the only one with a restroom so it received quite a bit of traffic. At first I was a little annoyed by the interruption, but I've begun to see such dis-appointments as possible divine appointments.

After a few minutes of small talk, I discovered this contractor was a retired Sergeant Major. I took the opportunity to pick his brain about deployments and asked for any recommendations he'd have for a chaplain deploying for the first time. He offered insight like keep up on your PT and be out among the soldiers. He recounted a story of a chaplain who stayed in his office and was never out among the soldiers. As a result, the soldiers would never go to him. (The “Faith of the American Soldier” made a similar observation about the chaplain at Abu Graib. She was told by her commander to stay in her office. If the soldiers needed her, they'd know where to find her.” We see how that went).

I was convicted by what the SGM said. I hadnt been avoiding anyone, but I had been keeping to myself in the gym, day room, and the REC. I resolved to be more intentional with my time at the CRC. For the time being, they were my flock and could use ministry of presence. For the remainder of the week, I tried to strike up conversations with folks and be more visible. Instead of wearing my civilian clothes, I wore my uniform in order to be more readily identifiable as a chaplain. It worked and I had numerous conversations with soldiers and civilians alike of varying religious backgrounds (Southern Baptists, Daoist, Episcopal, Roman Catholic turned Wiccan, etc).

On Wednesday, I decided to do some prayer walking. That morning I walked the rectangular block that was the CRC compound reading the gospel of Mark. It was several trips around before I finished the gospel. My prayer since that day has been that God will help me be light in the darkness. One way for that to happen is to be visible. As a chaplain, I play a different though parallel role to that of a civilian pastor. Back home, I can go to Wal Mart and usually no one will know I'm a pastor or a religion professor. In the Army, my uniform has a Cross on it... in two places. There's one on my headgear where rank would normally go. There's another above my name on the right side of my chest. The Army wants me to be identifiable. I dont carry my religion on my sleeve, just on my head and chest! :-) The purpose of the prayer walk was not to bring attention to myself, but to remind people of their faith. The chaplain is the visible presence of God much like the priests of old or the pastor at the hospital. By being visible, other soldiers with a faith commitment can be encouraged just by the sight of the chaplain praying for them. Those without a faith commitment may pause to think about their own moral code.

Being more visible seemed to make a difference. Several soldiers and civilians stopped me just to chat. A 1^st Sgt walked across the street to let me know he's available if I needed anything. On Friday, 3/27, the day I was supposed to be flying out, I put on the uniform and made my way down to where the buses were being loaded with soldiers and civilians to be taken to the airport. Several of the soldiers and civilians stepped out of line to shake my hand. It was clear for those who were deploying for the first time that they had anxiety. One civilian asked with a hopeful tone in her voice, "are you going with us?" I replied, "Unfortunately, no. I'm headed out next week. I just came out this morning to offer my support." She thanked me and loaded the bus. I spoke a blessing over the buses and sought shelter from the rain.

As an anecdote of a possible difference made by chaplain visibility, I attended the worship service held for the CRC processing group on Wednesday, 3/25. This was a 20 minute general protestant service held in a classroom. I helped the Chaplain on site pass out Bible and hymnals to the attendees. If I had to guess, there were maybe a dozen that showed up. The following week when my CRC group was processing, there were over twice as many attendees. I dont know exactly how many, but the chaplain ran out of Bibles and hymnals and some were still trickling in. Granted several things could explain the increase in attendance. Could just be a more spiritual group of people, better job advertising, a reminder that Palm Sunday was approaching, but I like to think the visible chaplain serving as a faith reminder for the past week had something to do with it as well. Regardless, to God be the glory.

During my actual week of processing, we had several classroom exercises. Some were death by powerpoint, others were more active participation first aid classes like how to bandage a sucking chest wound (I know what you're thinking, “dont all chest wounds suck?” :-) We received 4 duffel bags full of equipment. Some you hope you'll never use (suits for a chemical and biological weapons environment). They also kept wanting to issue me a M9 firearm. Though it would be nice to receive the training, I had to remind them that as a chaplain I'm not authorized to carry one. I can just see Chaplain Dirty Harry with his M9 pointed at a terrorist, “so you feel lucky, punk? Well do ya?” Or Chaplain Scarface, “say hello to my little friend!!!” Pardon the gallows humor.

On the bright side, since I dont carry a weapon I didnt have to go through the weapons qualifying on Thursday 4/2 resulting in me having the day off. Of course I didnt know this until Wednesday night. One of the benefits of being delayed a week was that I got to see April and the boys again. They were planning on driving to the Gulf Coast on Friday, 4/3. I called April on Wednesday and told her I had Thursday off. Without hesitating, she agreed to pack the boys up and left Wednesday night! They drove half way and picked me up Thursday morning around 9:30. We spent the day together. The boys didnt know about it so they were pleasantly surprised to say the least! So was I, woo hoo!

Thursday evening 4/2 was supposed to be the flight briefing, but guess what? That's right. I got bumped again! This time the flight was overbooked so 20 of us were bumped to Monday's flight. Argh! Upon saying goodbye to April, I told her I'll make it Kuwait eventually. In hindsight, I should have kept her and the boys here for the weekend.

So now I'm all packed. It's Sunday night a little after 1900 hrs. Yesterday I had to sit through watching UNC advance to the championship game over the team that humiliated Duke. Tomorrow I'm “supposed” to catch a flight. The delay has allowed me to rest up. I no longer will have any time with the chaplain I'm replacing as he's already left Kuwait. The chaplain assistant will be leaving the end of the week and his replacement wont be in country until next month. I'm supposed to have someone detailed to me until the replacement 56M arrives.

Please pray that God can use me to be light in the darkness; that the soldiers can keep hold of their humanity in the inhumanity of war. Pray that I'll be up to the challenge and will represent my God, my family and my country well.

Joshua 1:9 “Havn't I commanded you: be strong and courageous? Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

Amen.

CH (CPT) Paul Tolbert

595^th Trans Term Grp

APO, AE 09366